The Choice
by skygirl55
Summary: "You don't need to know my name in order to play; you just need to know the rules of the game, Kate. Didn't I tell you? We're going to play a game." Post "To Love and Die in LA" (3x22). What if Kate had to choose?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: In honor of the "Always" deleted scene released today, I'm going to post a new short fic. There are 5 parts._

* * *

><p><strong>"You don't need to know my name in order to play; you just need to know the rules of the game, Kate. Didn't I tell you? We're going to play a game." Post "To Love and Die in LA" (3x22). What if Kate had to choose?<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>One<strong>

A thin layer of moisture clung to Kate Beckett's face by the time her boots hit the ground and she stood upright from the driver's seat of her vehicle. The precipitation that evening wasn't solid or steady enough to be called rain or even drizzle. More accurately, a cloud had descended upon New York City and insisted on hovering several feet above the ground, covering every surface with tiny droplets of liquid. Along with the thin fog, the temperature plummeted atypically low for that late in April so that as she walked, her right hand hovering at the service weapon still holstered at her hip, Kate could see the clouds of her exhaled breath in front of her.

Despite the chilled air temperature, Kate felt no cold. In fact, all she felt was heat. Hot, thick blood coursing through every inch of her body as her heart slammed against the interior of her chest cavity, its rate already well above normal speed. Her ears buzzed with every sound; she was on high alert and had been ever since she received Castle's text. Or, rather, a text from Castle's phone; she very much doubted it had been tapped out by the writer himself.

Two weeks earlier, just a few days after she and Castle returned from California, Kate found herself hoping for a few day respite from any cases too strenuous and emotionally taxing. She did her best to compartmentalize and handle each case with the same level of professionalism, but Royce's murder had been an unexpected blow to the gut. She needed time. Just a run of the mill case. Or, better yet, no murder at all. Kate quickly found herself falling subject to that old adage, "Be careful what you wish for."

It started with an email.

During her usual morning scan of her inbox, she came across a message from a sender whose address she did not recognize. The email referenced Nikki Heat and her shimmering alabaster skin. Rolling her eyes, Kate forwarded the email to the department's security unit and moved on with her day. Sad and annoying though it was, she typically received several strange Nikki Heat related emails each month. In the grand scheme of things, that email in particular was rather tame, and so she gave it no second thought other than to note that the email address contained the first five numbers of the value of Pi: 31415

The next day, she had two more emails from the Pi sender, as she dubbed him in her mind. Again, she forwarded them and thought nothing more of them. Until the third day.

The third day, she found seven emails from him, all sent between one and two thirty a.m., each of them with a picture of a nude woman with—alarmingly—her face photo-shopped onto the body. When opening the first message, she had let out an involuntary gasp at her own face crudely placed over the head of a woman with ropes binding her hands and her breasts. Unfortunately, her gasp called the attention of her writer cohort and he too saw what was on her screen.

Kate brushed off his concerns; this was nothing. The tech teams would use his email address to hunt him down, he'd be prosecuted for harassment which would scare him off and they could move on with their lives; it had happened before and, unfortunately, would probably happen again. Castle protested her cavalier attitude as he was convinced something more sinister was afoot.

Two days later, Castle's fears were confirmed when a box arrived at the precinct containing dozens of photos models cut out from magazines with tiny pieces of string tied around their necks. With the box was a note from an individual calling himself "a fan.". The note expressed his desire to meet Kate so that they could—in his words—play a game together.

The package made Kate's skin crawl and her stomach churn in her gut, but she tried not to let it show. She could see the horror written all over Castle's face and, for him, she needed to not show alarm. "It's no big deal, Castle," she told him after passing the box off to a forensic tech. "Just another freak looking to get his rocks off."

Castle protested, inviting her to stay at the loft until the sick bastard was caught, but she refused, turning him down with a gentle smile. She was fine, she told him. Her apartment was secure and she slept with a gun. She was absolutely, totally fine.

Or she would have been if the tech team had been able to trace the email address. Or the package. Or if any finger prints had been left on the magazine cut outs or notes.

But still, it was fine. Until the phone calls started.

Every hour on the hour for seven straight hours she received calls containing only heavy breathing on the other end. Each call lasted no longer than ten seconds.

It was around the time of the phone calls that Montgomery became involved. He insisted on giving her a protective detail, but she refused. A packaged mailed to the precinct and a few phone calls were nothing to get too upset about.

A week after the first email came, she received a package via messenger containing photos of herself at a crime scene. Herself talking with Castle and Esposito beside a squad car. Herself leaving the Twelfth Precinct. Herself picking up dinner at a Chinese takeout place near her apartment.

With this new development, Montgomery became serious about the person they now dubbed as Beckett's stalker. An investigation would be opened and they would find this guy, no matter what, Montgomery had said.

Kate hadn't been worried—not in the least—and, perhaps, that should have scared her. She wasn't worried because she was in control. So he took a few pictures of her from a block away? So what? She was armed. She was a cop. The second he came anywhere near her she would take him down with no hesitation. But then, somehow, it all went wrong.

As Kate Beckett sat at her desk that fateful Thursday evening the only thing on her mind was dinner. She was just finishing up the paperwork from an arrest earlier that day. Ryan and Esposito, having plans, had already left. The bullpen was mostly empty. Kate set her pen down, stretched her arms above her head and asked herself: Thai or Italian? She was craving noodles, definitely something carb-heavy and comforting. The Italian place was closer...but it would probably be worth going seven blocks out of her way for the Thai…

As she contemplated, her phone chimed with an incoming message. Seeing it was from Castle, a curious smile crossed her face as it always did when he texted her. They'd parted nearly three hours earlier, after the arrest. He told her he intended to write a Nikki Heat chapter that evening, meaning that he was most likely texting her because of writer's block. Or boredom. Or both.

When Kate looked at the text she found that, perplexingly, it was not a message at all, but an address in Queens. Her brow furrowing, she typed back to him, _What?_

Perhaps, she considered, setting down the phone, he'd accidentally sent the message to her instead of someone else. His reply was almost instant.

_Meet me their ASAP. Got something to show u_

Kate's blood pressure immediately jumped several dozen points. She knew. She had absolutely no way of knowing, but somehow she knew. Something was very, very wrong.

For starters, Castle had used the wrong version of "there" in his text, a grammar faux pas the writer would sooner die before making. It had happened before, of course, if he was dictating his texts instead of tapping them out, but he had corrected himself immediately every other time.

Secondly, even if he had missed the their/there error, he would never have typed the letter u instead of the full word. Texting, he always said, was no excuse for poor grammar or punctuation. Only on extremely rare occasion did he use texting shorthand and "u" was never among those he used.

Someone else was texting her from Castle's phone and only one possible scenario had come to Kate's mind. It didn't make sense. The stalker had only shown interest in her, but what better way to get to her than through her partner?

Rocketing to her feet, Kate grabbed the blazer off the back of her desk chair so quickly the chair nearly fell over. She grabbed her gun, badge and phone and sprinted towards the elevator. Thirty foggy minutes later, she arrived at the warehouse in Queens.

She should have called for backup, she thought to herself as she approached the warehouse, but she had a good reason—or, at least, a reason she told herself was good—for not doing so. There was a chance—albeit a small chance—that the writer invited her to the warehouse for a legitimate reason. If she had called in the cavalry for one of Castle's pranks or whims she would never hear the end of it from the boys or Montgomery.

A faint glow could be seen from inside one of the boarded up windows of the warehouse and Kate approached. Though there were cracks in the wooden slats, the window itself was covered with too much grime to see properly. Thus, she would be forced to go in blind.

Thinking it wise to go in armed if she had no idea what lay ahead, Kate retrieved her weapon, gripped it tightly in her right hand and whipped open the nearest door.

Inside the warehouse there was no fog, but the atmosphere felt just as damp. It was dim, poorly lit from only sporadic overhead light bulbs of low wattage, but it did not take long for her eyes to adjust as it was also dark outside. "Castle?" she called out, steeping as quietly as she could so that the heels of her boots echoing against the concrete floor would not disrupt her hearing.

"In here, Detective."

The voice she heard was not Castle's. It was higher pitched, less smooth.

Sweat droplets formed against Kate's brow and her breath quickened. So Castle's texts hadn't been Castle's. And that voice she heard was probably—oh. She hadn't prepared for this.

She had been prepared for the stalker to come after her. _Her_. She figured one night when she was heading home he'd approach, she'd take him down and that would be that. She never even considered the possibility of him going after anyone else in her life. Her father. Josh. Castle.

_Castle._

Kate shut her eyes and took one second to compose herself. She breathed in deep and as she exhaled she opened her eyes and put on the steely face of Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. She raised her arms and gauntleted the gun between both palms. With slow, deliberate steps, she approached the voice in the adjoining room. Oddly, when she entered, she saw nothing. She stood frozen, momentarily confused before she heard, "Up here, Detective."

Kate raised her eye line and her weapon and faltered slightly when she saw the bizarre scene before her.

Up on the warehouse balcony, at least ten feet above her, a section of the railing had been removed. Standing approximately two feet apart were three figures. The room was dark aside from two light bulbs directly in between the gaps in the shadows, making it virtually impossible for her to identify them from her angle; all she could see was their outlines.

Could the stalker have a partner? Were they holding Castle hostage? What the hell was going on?

"Castle!" she called out again, but she received no response from him.

"I'm sorry, Detective, he's a little…tied up at the moment."

Kate could hear the amusement in the mystery man's voice when he said the words "tied up." The bile in her gut began to rise, but Kate fought it down. She was still in control of the situation. "I need to know if he's okay," she called up to the balcony.

"Just him?"

Again, she could hear the amusement, but she didn't understand what the kidnapper meant. Before she could give it a second thought, he continued.

"I'm so glad you could join us tonight, Detective. Or, Kate. I believe I should call you Kate. Is that alright?"

"Sure," she replied, thinking back to all her hostage training. "What should I call you?"

The man chuckled. "I told you in my letters, Kate; I'm a fan."

"A fan with a name?" she countered.

"You don't need to know my name in order to play; you just need to know the rules."

"Rules?" she repeated, gripping the gun a bit tighter as she pointed it northward. "What rules?"

"The rules of the game, Kate. Didn't I tell you? We're going to play a game."

As he finished his sentence, Kate heard the mechanical thud of a switch being flipped. Suddenly, the upper balcony was bathed in light and spots momentarily flooded Kate's vision. She blinked rapidly, willing her eyes to adjust. When they did, she took half a step backwards from pure shock.

The scene almost a dozen feet above her was nothing she could have imagined even in her wildest nightmares. With the light she could clearly see the figures now, the terror on two of their faces. Starting at the far left was Castle, his arms disappearing behind his back, presumably tied there. Duct tape covering his mouth, a small drizzle of blood just above his left eye and, most alarmingly, a rope noose around his neck. The rope looped around his throat before traveling upwards, anchored to something above them she could not see.

The figure in the middle was a man equal in height to Castle, though his frame was slimmer, wirier. He wore jeans and a black hoodie with the hood pulled up. Across his face was a white mask, similar to one a painter would wear if using spray paint. Coupled with the thick rimmed glasses he wore, it made it nearly impossible for Kate to identify him, but this was not her main concern.

Most distressing to Kate was the third figure on the balcony. Like Castle, his hands were presumably tied behind his back, duct tape covered his mouth and a noose looped his neck. Kate stared up into the eyes of her boyfriend Josh Davidson with more horror than she ever thought possible.

"Josh," she exhaled without even thinking.

The kidnapper remained silent for a full minute as Kate observed the scene then, unexpectedly he chortled and said, "Let the games begin!"

His voice pulled Kate from her state of shock and she trained her weapon on him. "Let them go."

"Whoa, Kate," the kidnapper said, laughing and holding up his hands. It was then she saw the black, rectangular object clutched in his right hand. "I have to tell you the rules of the game first."

"Not until I hear if they're okay—from them," Kate insisted.

The kidnapper sighed exasperatedly and turned to Castle. Using his left hand, he yanked the duct tape free. "Castle, you okay?" she called up, keeping her eyes and gun trained on the masked man.

"Oh you know," he said his voice a little raspier than usual, "just hanging out."

Kate blinked up at the kidnapper. If the writer was in a joking mood he was, indeed, safe—for the time being. "And Josh?"

The kidnapper removed Josh's duct tape and the doctor grunted before saying, "I'm fine, Kate."

"Excellent. Now let's talk about the rules," the kidnapper said.

Kate adjusted her grip on the weapon. "Let's talk about letting them go or I shoot you."

"Ah, ah, ah, Kate," The kidnapper said warningly, displaying the object in his right hand. "I'm sure you're familiar with the concept of a dead man's switch, yes? If you shoot me, you'll ruin our game, and I really don't want you to ruin the game, Kate. I worked so hard! So very hard!"

By the end of his speech, the kidnapper sounded like a whining child. Kate half expected him to stomp his foot on the ground, but he didn't. "Okay," she relented, "What's the game?"

"Oh good!" the kidnapper's eyes crinkled and, much to her dismay, Kate realized he was smiling. "The game is really simple and really fun. You get to choose."

She shook her head in confusion. "Choose what?"

"Choose them. The writer," the kidnapper said, gesturing to Castle. "Or the doctor." He gestured to Josh. "Or, if you'd rather: your partner or your boyfriend."

"I-I don't…I don't understand," Kate stammered, her heard slamming so hard against her chest she wondered if it was possible to get a bruise on the inside. The kidnapper couldn't mean…? Surely, no. No. It wasn't possible.

"It's very simple Kate. This switch I have here in my hand? Well, let me give you a demonstration. If I push this button…" He pressed on the button and, much to Kate's horror, Castle began to slip forward, the noose around his neck tightening. It was then she realized that both Castle and Josh stood on platforms that overhang the balcony by a little more than a foot. The button on the kidnapper's receiver evidently controlled a hydraulic mechanism holding the platform flat.

Castle's platform only tilted a few degrees before it stopped, enabling him to retain his footing, but she could see the terror in his eyes.

"And then—and I'm sure you've guessed this by now—but if I press this button," the kidnapper pressed another button and Josh's platform angled just like Castle's.

"So Kate, do you understand the game now? Because the timers about to start. You'll only have about thirty seconds and then….well, I'm sure you can figure it out."

The kidnapper's laughter ignited new fury within Kate and she gripped her weapon tighter despite her sweating palms. "Let them go. We can talk about this; it doesn't have to end this way."

"Oh, I'm afraid it does," the kidnapper told her, pressing both buttons simultaneously so the platforms began to tip. "And remember what I said about the dead man's switch, Kate. Tick-tock. Tick-tock."

Kate watched with pure horror as the platforms above her tilted at increasing angles. Her breath came in short bursts as her eyes jumped from Castle to Josh and back again. Their shoes were beginning to slip against the platform as the angle became too steep to hang on. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't happening. So far outside her comfort zone as a cop was this scenario, her grip on her weapon actually began loosening as pure horror took over her body.

"Stop! Please!" she called out, unsure of what else to say. "We-we can talk about this. Just stop."

"Sorry, Kate; we can't stop now. Not until you call out a name. Just one name; you can only save one of them."

The kidnaper's mocking tone did nothing to assist in Kate's mental state. Borderline hyperventilating now, she called out as best she could, "No! Stop this! Stop!"

"If you don't choose, Kate," the kidnapper warned, "you'll lose them both. So, actually, I'm kind of hoping you don't choose."

Kate shook her head, her hand beginning to tremble. She needed time. Just a few seconds to collect herself; figure this out, but the scenario did not afford her the luxury of time. Each second ticking away was one less second Castle and Josh would remain standing on the tilting platforms.

"Kate," Josh's warning voice pulled her eyes in his direction. He was taller than Castle by just a few inches, so his rope still had a little bit of slack. "Shoot him Kate; shoot the bastard."

His voice returning strength to her hands, she turned her gun towards the kidnapper, but could not will herself to pull the trigger. If he was bluffing about the dead man's switch, possibly she could—no. No! She couldn't risk it! Oh god.

"Tick-tock Kate," the kidnapper taunted.

"It's okay, Kate; it's okay. Just choose and-" Castle's words were lost to a cough as he fought to keep his feet high enough on the angled platform so that his windpipe remained open.

"No!" The word came out as an almost sob. She watched his black loafers scrape against the ground, fighting a losing battle against gravity. "Castle!"

She could see it when her eyes shifted upwards. His face was growing red, the rope cutting into his neck under his jaw. He opened his mouth. His chest heaved. He was gasping, but he made no sound; no air was getting in.

"Stop! Castle! Please!"

"Is that your choice? Is that your choice Kate?" The kidnapper's voice was eager as he edged nearer to the gasping writer.

"Yes please! Stop! Stop it!" She blurted out, her eyes never leaving Castle's strangled, terror-filled face. She was certain in that moment that even if she lived a hundred more years she would never forget the way his face looked as he was being hung.

The tears burned in her eyes, threatening to fall, but she couldn't let them—wouldn't let them. She needed to remain focused. Her eyes sharp. Once Castle was safe, she would empty her clip into the bastard and end this.

"Very well," the kidnapper said.

Kate's eyes darted towards him just in time to see him toss the remote he held over the edge of the balcony and vanish from sight. A strangled, "NO!" escaped her lips but it was masked by the sound of the plastic-and-metal box connecting with concrete and shattering into a dozen pieces.

Simultaneously, both platforms pitched to a ninety degree incline and dumped their occupants into the center of the room where they dangled precariously from their necks. Kate stood, frozen in horror. She couldn't even bring herself to fire her gun. No more than on second later, the slither of rope across metal could be heard and Castle dropped hard to the concrete about six feet from her. Instinctually, Kate ran to him.

"Castle? Castle!" she called out, dropping to her knees in front of him. Releasing her gun, she shot both hands to his neck and yanked the rope free. He gasped in violently and then chocked for several moments before beginning to nod his head.

Ten second had passed before he was able to rasp out his first word. "Josh."

"Oh god!" Kate exclaimed. Due to her horror at Castle's near suffocation, she had nearly forgotten about the second hanged man. She grabbed her weapon and whipped around where Josh dangled perilously in the middle of the room, his feet kicking about four feet above her. She stepped back and aimed firing one, two, three shots before the bullet nicked the rope, fraying it enough that Josh's weight tore through it and he dropped, crumpling against the ground.

Kate rushed to his side, leaving her gun in the middle of the room and pulling her cell from her pocket. She pressed 9-1-1 and then the send button before dropping the phone to the warehouse floor and shooting her fingertips to her boyfriend's throat. Due to the fact that he hung for longer than Castle, the rope was significantly tighter and thus more difficult for her to loosen.

"Oh God, Josh; oh god!" She clawed at the rope, her nails scraping at the flesh on his neck, for several moments before it finally pulled free and he breathed in a gasp of precious oxygen.

"911, what's your emergency?" a voice said thought her phone.

Kate scooped up the object with a trembling hand and gave the woman her badge number and their location, requesting that she send immediate medical attention.

When she ended the call, Kate noticed for the first time that her cheeks were damp. She was unsure when she began to cry, but did her best to rub her fists against her cheek to remove any evidence. She looked to her right and saw that Castle was sitting upright, the rise and fall of his chest slowly returning to normal as he stared at the battered figure across from him. Turning her eyes left, Kate saw that Josh had yet to move, but he was still breathing, which was a better outcome than she anticipated not five minutes earlier.

Kate could think. She couldn't speak. She couldn't even move. All she could do was stand there, in the middle of an abandoned warehouse in Queens and listen for the sound of sirens.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you all so much for all your reviews!_

* * *

><p><strong>Two<strong>

Josh was going to be alright. Physically, anyway. His right ankle was more than likely broken. At the very least horribly sprained. The same with his left wrist. These were both self-diagnosed injuries he informed the EMTs upon their arrival. The only assessment he could not make was on his neck, which would need an x-ray to confirm or rule out any injuries, but considering he still had feeling and movement in all his extremities, it probably was not that bad. Certainly not life threatening.

Kate walked by his side as the EMT's wheeled him to the ambulance. She requested a moment alone with him and ducked inside the vehicle. She placed a gentle hand on his forearm, but he kept his eyes trained on the celling. "I'll come by the hospital to check on you, okay?"

"Don't bother," he muttered out, still refusing to look at her.

Kate's chest contract painfully. "Josh I-"

"You know the sad part?" He interrupted her, finally turning his gaze to meet hers. "I'm not even surprised."

Kate's throat immediately felt drier than it ever had before. "Josh-"

"Detective," one of the EMT's said gently. She looked back at him. "We really need to get him to the hospital."

Kate nodded and turned back to Josh. "I'm really sorry," she told him quietly. Then, she stepped out of the ambulance. The EMT took her place and a few seconds later the vehicle was ambling its way towards the nearest hospital.

With Josh safely on the way, Kate turned back towards the rest of the scene. The flashing lights of the police cars and remaining ambulance were haloed by the ever-thickening fog. Kate was used to it by now, her damp hair clinging to the back of her neck, her fingertips coated in moisture. She wiped her hands on the thighs of her pants as she walked towards the cluster of Queens's police officers closest to her.

With her adrenaline wearing off, Kate was finally noticing the chill in the air exasperated by the damp. She had a jacket in her car and she probably should have retrieved it, but she did not feel like it. She also didn't intend on spending too much more time standing outside the abandoned warehouse.

"Detective," the lead Detective from Queens nodded to her when she approached. "I spoke with your captain. He's requested that you call him as soon as possible."

"I will." Kate nodded.

"We'll need to collect statements, as I'm sure you're aware," the detective, a slender blonde man, continued.

"Of course," Kate said. "You'll have mine and Castle's—he's familiar with our procedures, but if it's all the same to you, I think tomorrow morning will be best."

The detective nodded in agreement. "I'll send one of my men to the hospital to collect Dr. Davidson's. I've got everyone else looking for the bastard but-"

"He's in the wind; I know." She exhaled heavily before thanking the man. Turning away, Kate pulled her cell phone from her pocket and pressed her captain's speed dial. Their conversation was brief and efficient. She confirmed that both she and the writer were fine and that her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) would survive, but the extent of his injuries remained unknown at that point. Montgomery informed her that, due to the perilous situation, uniformed officers had secured both her apartment and Castle's so it was safe for them to return home. After confirming she and Castle would be in the next morning to give their statements, she bid the Captain a good night and walked back through the crowd of emergency vehicles.

Castle sat on the back edge of the remaining ambulance, charcoal colored blanket draped around his shoulders. A bandage had been taped across his forehead, covering the gash at his hairline. Gauze circled his left wrist, covering an angry brush burn from his rope bindings. Otherwise, he appeared no different than he did at any other crime scene.

The EMT was just taking a blood pressure cuff off his arm when Kate stopped in front of him and said gently, "Hey."

His eyes snapped towards her and his gaze softened. "Hey. Is Josh going to be ok?"

Kate bobbed her head. "More than likely, yeah. They need to do x-rays, but it's nothing life threatening."

"Good. That's good."

"How about you?" she asked, looking at him and then towards the EMT for confirmation.

"We suggested he go to the hospital for observation but-"

"I'm fine," Castle concluded for the EMT.

Kate eyed him skeptically, and ducked her eyes to gaze under his jaw line where the angry red rope marks could still be seen. Realizing what she was doing, Castle lifted his chin. When he did so, she noted that the area was uncharacteristically shiny and thus more than likely covered in some sort of cream or gel to prevent infection or encourage healing. Or both. "Is it going to leave a cool scar?" he asked her.

"Uh," she said, stuffing her hands in her pockets. "No, sorry; you'll remain scar-free."

He shrugged in a rather helpless manner. "So, uh, should I go downtown and give a statement?"

She shook her head almost imperceptibly. "No need for that tonight, Castle. You can do it tomorrow."

His brow wrinkled. "Are you sure?"

She bobbed her head. "I spoke to Montgomery and he's fine with it. After all, as he said, we know where to find you."

"You mean," he smiled softly, his first time smiling since arriving at the warehouse of nightmares earlier that day, "in the chair beside your desk at the twelfth."

She offered him what he would not consider a smile, but more a slightly more upturned straight expression. "C'mon," she said instead. "I'll take you home."

By the time Kate reached her vehicle, the evening chill was boring through her more than she cared to admit. Suppressing a shiver, she grabbed a lightweight NYPD jacket from the trunk and shrugged in on before landing herself in the driver's seat.

The moment Kate's backside came in contact with the vehicle's leather interior she felt a crushing exhaustion wash over her. It was barely after ten p.m. but the prior two hours hadn't exactly been the calmest. She found lifting her hand to insert the key into the ignition took great effort, but she willed herself to be alert enough to drive them safely.

"Kate listen," Castle began as they were pulling out onto the main road.

"Castle," she interrupted. "I'm going to need you to do me a favor."

"Sure," he said eagerly, turning his body towards her. "Anything."

"Don't talk."

"What?"

"Don't talk. Do not say a single word until we're back at your place, alright? Please," she added as an afterthought to soften her harsh request.

"Okay," he agreed.

Castle clasped his hands together and rested them in his lap. Allowing his head to loll back against the seat rest, he shut his eyes and, for one of the very few times in his life, welcomed the silence.

Did he want to talk to Kate? Did he want to ask her what the hell happened? Why she chose him over the man she was in a romantic relationship with? Of course. Those questions rammed around inside him, like bumper cars against the inside of his skull. Every cell in his body wanted to scream them at her—grab her arms and hold her there in front of him until she gave him an answer. But he knew he couldn't do that.

Holding her down and forcing her to answer would succeed in having the opposite effect. She didn't talk about things. They didn't talk about things.

Fortunately, that night, his desire to be a nagging, question-filled writer was overruled by the exhaustion pounding through every microfiber of his being. That evening had begun with the promise of some diligent writing (or diligent procrastinating), wine and then perhaps some video games or endless YouTube searches, but the outcome had been far beyond anything he could have anticipated. At least, he thought with a certain amount of mirth, a way to shut him up had finally been discovered: literally hanging him by the neck from the rafters.

As an avid movie watcher—not to mention a mystery writer with a healthy interest in researching every conceivable mean of ending a human life—Castle was more familiar than most with deaths by hanging. Thus, when after receiving a hearty crack on the head he awoke to find himself wearing a noose staring into the blackness of an abandoned warehouse, he panicked thoroughly.

Hanging was by no means an elegant way to die. It was painful. It was drawn out. It was very, very brutal. The writer, of course, had a very strong desire to live, but if he was forced to choose a way for his life to be taken, death by hanging would not have been in his top five choices.

When he first awoke, it was too dark for him to see anything. Using his other senses he knew he was in a large abandoned area and guessed warehouse if for no other reasons than warehouses tended to be the location where nefarious things happened. People were generally not hanged in a room full of kittens painted with hues of soft yellow.

He was unsure of how much time passed until the kidnapper returned with his second victim. At the time, a cold sweat break out across Castle's skin; for one sickening moment he feared the second strung-up body to be Kate's, but quickly dismissed that theory when, through the minimal light, he could see the large outline of the figure. Still, due to the darkness, he had no idea his hanging companion was the doctor until Kate said his name.

_Kate_.

Standing on a ledge with a noose around his neck he had faith that she would find him; that she would save him. The fact that she might not save him never crossed his mind. He wouldn't allow such betraying notions to enter his brain; they were unacceptable.

His faith in her never wavered—until the kidnapper revealed the rules in the game. In fairness, that wasn't his faith in her changing, merely his faith in the situation. He was—quite literally—sliding to his death and there was very little that Kate could do to stop it. Even if she shot the kidnapper. Even if it wasn't a dead man's switch. Even if she could reach the second balcony in time.

The choice. A twist that even he, as a writer, never saw coming. As a plot devise it was fantastic. In reality, not so much. Still, the sick part of him was intrigued. What choice would she make? Yes, they had that moment in a Los Angeles hotel room, but it was long since forgotten and she was still with Josh. She had been with Josh for nearly nine months! And even if she did choose him, would it be worth it if that choice meant the death of someone she cared about? How could they possibly move forward from that?

As the rope looping his neck began to tighten, Castle lost his internal debate over Kate's choice and focused on surviving. He tried with every ounce of determination within himself to will the oxygen to penetrate his ever-shrinking windpipe. He curled his toes in his shoes and scraped his feet, trying to gain as much height on the platform as he could. But his vision began to tunnel and his ears began to buzz. He didn't even realize Kate had chosen him until after he was on the ground and noticed his hanging companion was not.

"Did he take you from the loft?"

Castle's eyes popped open when her voice pulled him from his thoughts. He blinked several time and attempted to determine their location. When he realized they were still two blocks from Broome Street he cleared his throat and said, "No. No, from the Twelfth; just after I left."

Kate nodded. "Still, I'm going to go inside and check it out. Montgomery has uniforms outside the building making sure no one unauthorized gets in. Espos text said when they searched the place no one was home?"

"Ah, yes. Mother is at an acting retreat and Alexis wanted to stay with a friend." _Thank god_, he added silently to himself.

Kate nodded. After parking her cruiser in a rare empty space near the front of Castle's building, Kate pushed herself from the vehicle, finding her legs had stiffened significantly during their twenty-five minute ride. She found the black-and-white stationed a few vehicles away and checked in with the officers. Castle waited obediently near the building entrance and remained there until she joined him a few minutes later.

"There's been no sign of the kidnapper, but I'll do a quick sweep just in case," she informed him. He nodded, still unsure if he should abide by her no talking rule.

No stranger to Castle's residence, Kate went directly to the elevator and punched the button for his floor. When the elevator reached its destination, Kate pulled her weapon from its holster and instructed that Castle wait in the hallway until she'd cleared his apartment. Efficiently, she searched each room of his home, checking every window, every closet, but the apartment was vacant.

"It's clear," she said when she returned to the doorway. Castle was leaning back against the opposite wall and pushed himself off at her words. Inside the loft, he dropped his suit jacket across the back of the sofa and then turned to face her. She had holstered her weapon once more and was standing in the middle of the entryway looking a bit uncertain.

Feeling it was safe to speak now that they were inside his territory, he asked, "Can I get you a drink? Something to eat?"

She shook her head. "No, I…I should let you rest."

She took a step towards the door and he took a step towards her. "Why don't you stay?" he suggested. She gave him an extremely skeptical look, which he countered with an almost imperceptible head shake. "Kate. Stay."

"I can't," she responded. "He's still out there."

"And we'll find him tomorrow," he said, emphasizing the joint part of their venture.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, I have to…the uniforms will stay here all night so you'll be safe. You can come down to the station tomorrow morning and give your statement, okay? Ryan or Esposito will take it."

"Okay," he agreed gently. She rotated her body towards the door but once again he stopped her. "Am I allowed to say thank you for saving my life?"

She turned back to him, her expression fatigued though softened. "Of course, Castle."

He stepped towards her, arms opening. Kate knew she should turn away, leave the apartment, refuse his embrace but, god, she was tired. She was just so tired. Too tired to fight. Too tired to refuse what she so desperately wanted. After all, it was just a hug, right?

Castle's arms looping around her weary frame were the catalyst for opening the floodgates. The moment her fingertips connected around his back, a hiccupped sob escaped her lips. She tried. She tried to fight it, but it was so hard and she was so exhausted and Castle was there, his body warm and solid against hers. She could smell his scent strong against the collar of his shirt, so perfect and Castle-like. He was here; he was okay because of her. Because of her. God, how close had she come to losing him?

"Shh Kate; it's okay." The even timbre of Castle's voice soothed her as much as his firm hand rubbing clockwise circles over her back. She gripped him a bit tighter, grasping her wrists with her opposite hands to ensure maximum bodily contact between them.

Castle suppressed a wince at the tightness of her grip. That six foot fall hurt his back a little more than he realized, but to have Kate Beckett nearly squeezing the breath out of him it was worth it. It was so worth it!

In a way, her emotional outburst should have concerned him more than it did, but he was selfishly enjoying their contact, even if it served only to comfort her. "It's okay," he told her. "We're safe; everybody's safe."

"But he's still out there." Her timid, child-like voice informed him.

"And you will find him," he said with absolute confidence. "And I'll help you. After all, I'm a bit motivated myself now." Castle felt Kate's chest expand with a blip of laughter and he smiled, resting his chin against the top of her head.

Kate allowed herself thirty more seconds of security in Castle's embrace before pushing herself away and forcing her feet to move a step each in the opposite direction. She rubbed her fingers across her cheeks and skimmed the back of her hand under her nose. Only then did she spot the wet marks her tears left just below the collar of his blue shirt. She apologized, but he shook it off.

"I'm rich; I'll buy another shirt."

This elicited the tiniest smile from her, but still, it was a smile.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" he offered again.

She shook her head. "Thanks, Castle, but I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? If anything—if you need anything-"

He bobbed his head. "I've got your number."


	3. Chapter 3

**Three **

By the time Kate arrived at her apartment that evening, a bone crushing exhaustion dredged her every step. She shed her clothes beside her bed before falling onto the mattress, hoping to be asleep almost instantly, but slumber never came.

Every time she closed her eyes she was back in the warehouse watching helplessly as the last breath of life was squeezed from Castle's throat. She tossed and turned for hours, only getting ten or fifteen minutes rest here or there. By four-thirty a.m. she gave up entirely, pushing herself from the mattress and heading directly to the shower.

At five-fifteen she was at her desk at the twelfth, gargantuan sized cup of coffee beside her. On her drive in, she wondered if there was any store in Manhattan that sold coffee by the gallon and briefly toyed with the idea of a Google search to find out, but then thought better of it. If she drank a literal gallon of coffee that morning she would also need to move her desk so it was right beside the Ladies' Room, and that certainly wouldn't do her investigation any good.

Alone in the precinct, she tapped out her incident report from the prior evening. Her gut clenched throughout her detail of the kidnappers insistence that she choose between Josh and Castle to stop his actions and save one of them—only one. With trembling digits, she tapped out the sentence, "I chose Castle." With it displaying on the screen in front of her, cursor blinking tauntingly just beyond his name, Kate Beckett shut her eyes and dropped her fingers from the keyboard.

That happened. That really happened.

She chose Castle. _Castle_. She chose _Castle_.

The situation was, quite frankly, one of the most difficult she had ever faced as a cop. Choosing Castle over Josh, or Josh over Castle, or Esposito over Ryan, or any other analogy—no matter who she was choosing between the situation would never have been easy, but with Castle and Josh the kidnapper had upped the stakes. Would she make the same choice again? If put in the exact situation on a different night, was that the choice she would make?

_You know the answer to that_, a tiny voice in her head said, but she quickly shook it off. Such emotional notions were clutter her brain did not have time to sweep under the proverbial rug at that juncture. She needed to focus on the case; focus on catching the kidnapper. Then and only then would she deal with the ramifications of her decision.

Turning back to her computer screen, Kate efficiently tapped out the rest of her statement and sent it off to the Queens' PD, copying Montgomery on the email. With that task settled, she turned towards the murder board—er, the Kate's Stalker board—and realized it was in dire need of updating with the events of the prior night.

By seven a.m. when the precinct's daytime employees began trickling in, Kate had finished her cup of coffee and had littered the white board with notes on the stalker-turned-kidnapper. She had wracked her brain for every detail she could recall—no matter how minute—in hopes that even the smallest tidbit could help identify and capture the suspect.

When Kate fully realized the bullpen would soon be crawling with people, including her partners Ryan and Esposito, she grabbed her jacket and headed towards the exit. She was not quite in the mood to face their reactions of the events of the prior evening. Besides, she had yet to visit Josh in the hospital and that was something that could not wait.

With Friday morning rush hour traffic it took longer than she would have wanted to get to the hospital in Queens where the EMTs had taken Josh. Upon arrival, she flashed her badge and requested an update on his condition. A nurse informed her that his ankle was broken, his wrist sprained, and the full extent of the damage to his neck had yet to be determined; he was to undergo more tests that morning. Kate thanked the woman and headed directly to Josh's room.

Kate found the doctor sitting upright in bed, heavy brace around his neck, using his non-sprained hand to eat applesauce with a plastic spoon. When she entered the room, he looked up and met her gaze for a moment before turning back to his food. "Hey, how are you feeling?" she asked gently.

"Like I was hung by my neck," he answered simply, reaching out for a cup of water containing as straw. Before his arm was fully extended he winced and pulled it back into his chest. Kate stepped forward, picked up the cup and held it out to him. He took it from her with a muttered, "I can do it."

"Josh, I'm so sorry," she began. "I never wanted you to be involved in any of this. I didn't think he would go after-"

"You knew about this guy?" he asked, flicking his eyes in her direction. She pressed her lips together and nodded simply. "And you never said anything?"

"He had just sent a few emails and a package to the precinct. He seemed harmless. We were investigating him but I never thought he would-"

"Did Castle know about him?" Josh asked. Kate did not say a word or change her expression, which in itself gave the answer. Josh "hmmph-ed" to himself. "Of course. Look, Kate, you didn't need to come here."

"I needed to apologize."

Josh looked at her, relenting slightly. "Look, even if you had told me about this guy, you had no way of knowing he'd conk me on the head on my way to my car; that's not your fault."

"That's not what I was apologizing for," she clarified.

Josh turned his eyes towards his lap and then remained silent for a few moments, obviously collecting his thoughts. "I always kind of wondered, you know, why you were holding back. Was it me? Was it just the way you were?" He paused and turned his gaze up to meet hers. "But…when you talked about him, I knew. You tried to hide it but you had this…light. And it's pretty obvious how he feels about you."

"Pretty obvious?" she echoed, one brow raised.

Josh blinked at her. "He writes books about you, Kate. It doesn't take a genius to draw a conclusion there."

Kate merely stood there for a moment before saying the only thing she could think of. "I never meant to hurt you."

Josh offered her a half-smile. "In a way, it's better like this. I mean, we would have ended sooner or later anyway, right? At least this way it's not drawn out."

Kate nodded and turned towards the exit, but he stopped her by calling out her name. "Thanks, by the way, for shooting that rope and saving my life."

She offered him a sad smile. "Of course, Josh. And if there's anything I can do for you-"

"Yeah," he said firmly. "Catch the bastard."

* * *

><p>When Richard Castle awoke the following morning he stretched his legs out and moved to raise his arms above his head, but stopped in the face of instantaneous agony. God, why did his back hurt that much? <em>How<em> did his back hurt that much? And his feet! How did his feet hurt—oh, right, he had fallen six feet onto a concrete floor after being hung by the neck.

Groaning, Castle attempted to push himself upright and found pain also radiated in his throat and wrist. Yeah, that really happened.

After taking a moment to force himself to move forward, Castle slid from bed and shuffled—well, more accurately hobbled—towards the shower, for the first time in many mornings feeling like a man in his late fifties not early forties. He cranked the shower water on hot and stepped beneath the spray, letting the moist heat melt away the tension in his muscles.

Without thinking, he reached for his razor and shaving gel. He squeezed a glob of gel onto his palm and began his usual, well-practiced task of applying it. It was only when his fingertips grazed the raw skin beneath his jaw that he jumped and yelped in discomfort. Oh right—severe rope burns. Grumbling to himself, Castle rinsed off the gel and set down his razor; there would be no shaving that morning and, judging by the tenderness he felt, probably not the following morning either.

His shower complete, Castle stood in the center of his bathroom facing the mirror. He examined the underside of his chin as best he could. It didn't look that bad, more like a minor sun burn than anything else, but _damn_ did it hurt. He moved his tongue around inside his mouth, testing the tenderness so brushing his teeth would not invite another shock.

Castle had hoped sleep would bring refreshing clarity to the events of the prior night, but it had not. Instead, he felt just as conflicted as when his head hit the pillow. What did Kate's decision mean for them? Would there even be a "them" after this? Or, would they simply move forward, ignoring this event like the many others before it?

Castle didn't want to ignore it. He didn't want to forget it—any of the things that happened between them. It frustrated him more than he could ever verbalize, but outweighing that frustration was the desire to keep her, hold on to her as tight as he could. If he had to ignore it in order to remain her partner, he would, as much as that made his self-loathing level increase.

After dressing and grabbing breakfast, Castle headed for the twelfth to fill out his statement. On his way, he texted his daughter, hoping to catch her between classes. He told her that they needed to talk when she next had a chance, but everything was fine and there was no reason to worry. He didn't want to scare her by telling her what had happened over text or even over the phone. It was a conversation that needed to be had in person and, per his promise to her, he would tell her about it, though, quite honestly, it was not a conversation he was looking forward to having. He could already see the pain in her eyes; it made his gut clench just to think about.

"Oh well, look who it is," Esposito called when Castle walked into the precinct. Ryan looked up towards his friend. "Anything interesting happen last night?"

"Yeah, or did you just…hang around?" Ryan asked, clearly in jest.

Castle pursed his lips together and accepted their cop-humor laced joshing. "So you've heard, I take it?"

"Oh we heard—the rumors," Esposito clarified. "Dude, what the hell happened last night?"

"I'd say it's pretty obvious," Ryan, the shorter of the two, said, gesturing towards the underside of Castle's jaw. Esposito dipped his chin so he too could examine the mark.

Normally, Castle would be the first one to show off a cool scar or an angry red rope burn as it was, but this call had been a bit too close for comfort, so he turned away from them. "Not a whole lot to tell, guys. Psycho kidnapped myself and Beckett's boyfriend and strung us up by the rafters in an abandoned warehouse. Beckett saved us; end of story."

"Yeah but is it true the kidnapper made her choose and she chose you over Josh?" Ryan asked.

Castle's only response was to ask, "Shouldn't I be writing all this down in a statement or something?"

Ryan and Esposito exchanged looks. "Uh, sure," Ryan said with an air of skepticism. "I'll take your statement."

When Kate arrived back at the twelfth twenty minutes later, Castle was so engrossed in making certain his statement was grammatically correct he didn't notice her. Glad for a moment of respite before having to face him—and thus the events of the prior night— Kate shrugged off her jacket and sat down at her desk to check her emails. She had barely been seated for more than thirty seconds before Montgomery popped his head out of his office and said, "Beckett. A word."

At the sound of her name Castle looked up from his statement and eyed her curiously as she made her way into Montgomery's office and he shut the door behind them. He wondered briefly how long she had been in the bullpen without saying hell to him, or to the boys before Esposito interrupted his internal inquiries. "Is this what it feels like to be your publisher?"

"Excuse me?" Castle asked curiously.

Esposito gestured towards the statement he was reviewing. "You done yet?"

"I'm just trying to make sure everything is accurate," Castle explained, though his eyes were trained on Kate in Montgomery's office not the papers in front of him.

* * *

><p>"So," Kate's captain said to her as he eyed her from the opposite side of his desk, "I read your incident report. Sounds like you had a bit of a rough night."<p>

Kate let out a breathy laugh. "You could say that again."

Montgomery eyed her carefully to gauge her reaction to his next statement. "The kidnapper forced you to choose between Castle and Dr. Davidson…and you chose Castle."

Kate's gazed faltered slightly and her fingers began to tremble, her heart rate gaining speed. She clasped her hands together in front of her and shook her head slightly, willing the terror to leave her throat so it wouldn't show in her voice. "I, I didn't. I couldn't-"

"Kate," Montgomery cut her off gently. "It's alright; I'm not judging merely repeating the facts." Kate bobbed her head, but said nothing. Montgomery watched her for a moment longer before saying, "May I offer a word of unsolicited advice? You know why you chose him and I'm pretty sure I have a good idea why, but does he know?"

Kate stared back at her captain, giving no response other than a blink.

After a beat, Montgomery added. "Don't you think he deserves to?"

She cleared her throat and took a step towards her desk. "What I think, sir, is that I need to devote every ounce of my effort to finding this bastard and bring him in before he does anything else to me or anyone that I…care about."

The captain stared her down for a moment before stating, "Very well, Detective. Please keep me updated on the situation."

Back out in the bullpen, Kate walked up to her three male cohorts and gave them a soft smile. "Morning boys."

"Yo Beckett," Esposito said just as casually as ever. "Sorry to hear about your boring evening; you really need to get a life, girl."

Kate's smile widened slightly. "Yeah, I'll try and work on that. I'm going to get some more coffee and then let's get to work, shall we?"

Kate escaped into the break room only to be followed a moment later by the writer. She busied herself with his fancy espresso machine as he asked. "Hey, are you alright?"

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Well…"

"I'm fine Castle. How are yo…" her voice drifted off when she faced him for the first time and saw the marks that still remained under his jaw. Her gut clenched and her hand began to tremble so much that she had to set down her coffee cup. "God, Castle your-"

"I know, I know," he sighed, rubbing his hand over his chin. "I didn't shave this morning. It looks awful, doesn't it?"

Kate gave him a very serious "That's not what I was talking about" expression.

He blinked at her slowly as he said, "I'm fine, Kate; really. Nothing I won't bounce back from." After a beat went by he added, "How's Josh by the way? Have you seen him?"

"Briefly," Kate said. "He-he has a broken ankle and they're still trying to figure out what's wrong with his neck and…" she let her voice drift off as she turned away from him, a trembling hand skimming across her forehead. "God, Castle. This is all my fault—all of it. I was so stupid."

"What? No, you-"

"Yes!" she said, whipping towards him. "Yes, it is my fault. When I got your text—that text from you last night my gut knew…my gut knew something was wrong, but I didn't call for backup and I should have and if I had then-"

"Kate, Kate," he said gently, stepping forward and placing a gentle hand on each of her shoulders. "It's okay. No one died."

"But-"

"No buts," Castle said. "No sense in dwelling on what happened in the past now. Let's just move forward and catch this guy, okay? Between my statement, yours and Josh's we've got to have something to go on, right?" She gave a noncommittal shrug. "Okay, but we've had less to go on and still figured it out, right?"

"Right," she agreed. He smiled at her and she couldn't help but mirror his expression. "Thanks Castle."

"Always," he replied.

Almost simultaneously, the break room door opened and Ryan poked his head in. "Beckett? There's something you're going to want to see."

Kate and Castle joined Ryan and Esposito at her desk where a small envelope waited for her. "It was delivered by messenger," Esposito explained. "The messenger is waiting in interrogation; I thought you'd like to do the honors. That is…if this is from-"

"I'd be surprised if it wasn't," she muttered. After pulling on a pair of blue rubber gloves, Kate scooped up the envelope. Ripping open the seal, she dumped the contents onto her desk. One piece of paper floated out and landed face-down. She picked it up and flipped it over, finding a picture of herself taken presumably as she was leaving her apartment, or the precinct; the shot was too close to tell. Overtop of her eyes, black X's had been drawn and beneath her chin the words "Ready for Round 2?" were written.

"Well," Castle concluded, gazing down at the photograph from over her shoulder, "that's creepy."

Saying nothing, Kate stalked towards the murder board, photograph in hand. She tacked it rather violently to the board with a magnet and then turned back towards her team, fury burning in her eyes. If that's the way this guy wanted to play it, fine. He could mock her all he wanted, but she was going to have the last laugh, by catching the son of a bitch and charging him with everything from harassment to attempted homicide. "Which interrogation room is the messenger in?"

The bike messenger, a pimple-faced, moderately terrified, red-headed eighteen year old, described the original owner of the envelope as a six-foot-one, thin, bespectacled man—a perfect descriptor of the kidnapper. Unfortunately, that was as much help as the poor kid could give them. He had met the man at a café where they exchanged cash for the envelope and delivery address; the messenger had no more information. Still, since he had seen the kidnapper unmasked, it was a start and Kate sent him to sit with a sketch artist while the envelope was sent to the tech team to search for prints, saliva remnants, or anything else to assist in ID-ing the suspect.

Despite two different precincts working hard on the case, by noon no one was any closer to identifying the kidnapper. Kate paced in front of the murder board and obsessively reviewed Castle's and Josh's statements in hope that some clue would identify the mystery man, but it turned out the bastard was better than she thought he was. Now, their only hope was that some remnant of him would be found by the tech team in reviewing the photo he'd sent her that morning, though, in all honesty, Kate did not remain hopeful.

Castle watched his partner from his usual seat beside her desk. He was frustrated, of course, having newfound motivation to find the son of a bitch now that he'd been strung up by his neck, but watching the frustration written all over Kate's face made it all the worse for him. Rationally, he knew his statement was as much information as he could recall and that it was not his fault for being knocked out for most of the time and thus unable to further identify the perpetrator. Still, he felt a creeping guilt in his gut, wishing he could do more to help them solve the case.

"Did Josh text you?" Castle asked when he spotted Kate check her phone and subsequently bit her lip.

She glanced up at him quickly. "No, actually I was hoping the kidnapper texted his address and the words, 'Come and get me.'"

A smile broke out across Castle's face. "Hey that sounds like something I would say!"

Kate let out a breathy laugh before her expression fell into one of a more serious nature. "No, actually…Actually, Josh and I broke up."

For a split second, Castle was conflicted. His default setting as her partner, her friend wanted to feel bad, say he was sorry. Yet, the other part of him—the man that desired to hold her close and never let her go—was ashamed to be thrilled at this prospect.

Before he could respond verbally, Esposito interrupted them with his typical, "Yo Beckett."

Kate almost jogged towards him as he stepped up in front of the murder board. "Do you have something? Did the tech team find prints?"

"Yes, but don't get too excited," Esposito told her warningly. He then went on to explain that there were no prints on the outside of the envelope except those from the messenger. On the photo inside, there was one print, but it was not a match to anything in their system. "Which, in a case like this, that's not very shocking," he added.

"So, you brought us nothing; thanks Espo," Castle said bitterly.

Esposito gave the writer an unappreciative glance before turning back to Kate. "Ryan is still running down the security tapes near the coffee shop where our kidnapper met the messenger, so hopefully he'll come back with something."

Kate offered him a small smile. "Thanks Espo." When she turned back to Castle and saw he looked quite impatient, she told him, "Don't worry; it's not like we really expected to ID him from that package."

"I know," Castle sighed. "I just wish there's something I could do. I wish I could help!"

"You are helping," she assured him. Simply by being there, he was helping. Every day that he showed up, sat beside her and offered her reassuring glances or made her laugh during a tough case, he was helping. Without that kind of help—the help that only Castle could provide—she knew she would be lost.

The afternoon progressed, unfortunately, without great event. Ryan obtained several security tapes and, along with a few recruited uniforms, began slogging through them, searching for the face of their kidnapper. Kate contacted the Queens PD, but they seemed to be at as much as a dead end as the Twelfth.

Just as Castle was contemplating a mid-afternoon snack, he watched Kate suddenly stand from her desk, grab her jacket and head towards the elevator as though she was late for an appointment she just remembered. Curious, he pushed himself from the chair (albeit with great difficulty due to his injuries from the prior night) and trailed after her. Just before she was about to press the elevator call button, he called out her name. "Kate?"

She turned to face him, giving him a half-smile. "I-I'm just going out for a second; I need some air."

Castle knew her far too well to believe a line like that. "The hell you are."

They had a several-moment-long staring contest before Kate relented. "I just…I have a feeling he's waiting for me at my apartment; I'm going to go check it out."

Castle nodded. "Okay. Let's call for backup. Let's check it out."

Kate almost laughed at the suggestion. "I can't call for backup on my own hunch; he might not even be there."

He took a step towards her. "And what if he is? What did you say to me earlier today? You should have called for backup last night."

"That's when other people were at risk," she explained. "But Josh is in a hospital, Montgomery put a team on my dad and you're here. I'm going in alone."

She reached for the elevator button and he grabbed her arm instead. "No you're not."

Kate wrenched her arm away. "Yes, I am. Castle."

Again, he stared her down, this time determined not to let her win. She had saved his life not twenty-four hours earlier and now she expected him to stand by and wait while she risked her own? Not a chance in hell. Still, Castle was wise enough to know very little would stop a highly determined Kate Beckett and was thus left with very few options. "You leave I tell Montgomery."

His words were ultimate betrayal. From partner-to-partner it just wasn't done. It wasn't done except in the rarest of circumstances. Life threatening circumstances. Castle believed those circumstances were at play, though, from the expression on her face, it was clear Kate did not.

Anger boiled in her veins and a few droplets of sweat burst out on her forehead. She folded her arms over her chest, glaring at him as she hissed, "Are you kidding me?"

Solemnly, knowing he was risking their partnership, he shook his head. "Nope. This guy's a psycho, Kate. You don't want to risk my life; I don't want to risk yours. At least take Ryan and Esposito. The four of us will go; like always."

Kate grumbled to herself and bit her lip so as not to show a facial expression. Damn him for being right and, for once, using logic on her. She glanced back towards the bullpen and spotted Esposito on the phone and Ryan at his desk reviewing grainy footage. If she was wrong and no one was at her apartment, how much time would they really waste? Forty-five minutes? An hour? Then they would come back here and attack the case from a different angle.

"Alright," she agreed finally, "but let's do this quietly."


	4. Chapter 4

**Four**

"So what's the play, Beckett?" Esposito asked as they mobilized half a block from Beckett's apartment.

"You watch the fire escape. Ryan—the roof balcony," Kate explained. With her coworkers dispatched, she turned back to her partner.

"What should I do?" he asked, adjusting the Velcro on his "Writer" bullet proof vest.

"Wait in the car," she said simply.

He looked at her, practically insulted by the suggestion. "Yeah that's not going to happen so what should I actually do?"

"Why can't you just wait in the car?"

"Why can't you just understand that I never want to wait in the car?" he countered.

Kate shook her head. "Castle, you've been hurt once already and—god, fine," she relented with a groan when he began to give her puppy dog eyes. "You'll have to stay back, though; wait down the hall from my apartment."

He practically did a tiny jump for joy. "And what do I do if he gets past you and comes out after me?"

Kate crouched down and removed the gun from her ankle holster. She suppressed the urge to grimace when she spotted the kid-in-a-candy-store expression Castle always got whenever he was handed a weapon. Normally, his childlike glee entertained her, but now the stakes were too high.

Inside her apartment building, she left Castle by the elevator, pulled her weapon from its holster and approached her apartment door slowly. She held her gun in her right hand as her left dipped to her pocket to retrieve her keys, but, by the time she was three feet from the door, she saw keys were not needed; the door was open a few millimeters thereby confirming her suspicions that the kidnapper was inside.

Kate pushed the door open slowly and walked in, gun first. She had barely taken a step when she was hit in the face by a stray object. Her adrenaline pumping, Kate jumped back only to realize she was hit by a photograph hung from the ceiling of the apartment. Upon further examination, it was a photograph similar to the one she had been sent that morning: her picture with X's over the eyes.

Looking out across her apartment, she saw it was littered with variations of the same picture. Some big, some small. Some hung from the ceiling, some littered on the floor. From practically every surface, her own morbid image reflected back at her.

Cautiously, Kate took two steps inside before announcing herself. "NYPD! If anyone is here, come out now with your hands up."

"Oh Kate," the kidnappers voice said. Kate gripped her weapon harder, trying to identify where the sound came from. "I'm so disappointed. When you chose your partner, the doctor was supposed to die. That was part of the game!"

His childish tone was back, and Kate could not say she was amused. "Sorry, but no one is dying."

"But that's part of the fun! Oh well – round two is just for us."

Before Kate even realized she was sprawled out on her stomach just in front of her refrigerator, her gun skimming across the wooden floor. Evidently, the kidnapper had been hiding on the stairs leading up to the roof balcony and leapt down on her as she attempted to traverse the kitchen.

Though she let out an involuntary yelp at the surprise tackle, Kate quickly regained her senses and put her training to work. She kicked and clawed until she managed to roll her body over and come face to face with the kidnapper above her. Before she could get a clear view of his face, he grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her down hard against the ground, causing stars to appear before her eyes.

Kate blinked rapidly and focused on her even breathing all the while trying to push the kidnapper off of her, but he had her pinned. "All along, Kate. This is what I wanted. You and I—together."

"Sorry I don't feel the same," Kate grunted.

"That's okay, Kate," the kidnapper said, pausing to yank a large kitchen knife off the counter above them, "you don't have too much time left to feel that way."

At just that moment, Kate heard footsteps thudding towards her apartment. Knowing her partner was on his way, she mustered up every ounce of strength she could and use it to flip the kidnapper over her head where he landed in a heap.

Still slightly dizzy, Kate scrambled to her feet and heard Castle call out her name. "Here!" she managed to respond.

Kate looked up just in time to see the kidnapper regain his footing and take one menacing step towards her, knife out in front, but before he could make the second step, gunfire rang out and the masked man fell instantly backwards. Kate tuned back to see Castle standing at the edge of her kitchen, gun raised. "Thanks," she said breathlessly.

Regaining her composure, Kate approached the kidnapper, laid out flat on his back by Castle's well-placed bullet to his right shoulder. She kicked the knife from his grasp, in the process, nudging his hand, which flopped by his side. For the first time, she noticed he was not writhing in pain or crying out in agony as she would have expected. Instead, he lay perfectly still.

Confused but still careful, Kate crouched down by his side and examined him closer. When she saw the pool of maroon seeping out from behind his ear, she checked his pulse; there wasn't one. Slowly, she stood and looked at her partner.

"What?" he asked, confused at her grave expression. "Why aren't you cuffing him?"

"He's dead," she responded simply.

"W-wha-" Castle stammered. He glanced down at the gun in pure horror and the back up at Kate. No! Surely, no. No! This simply could not be! "But I…but I shot him in the shoulder!"

"Yeah, but," she paused to step around and crouch beside the opposite side of the body. It was there she found the reason. "When…when he fell back he hit his head on this glass statue I had here."

Instant nausea permeated Castle's gut. "I…I killed him."

"Indirectly," Kate said stupidly, as though that would be any comfort at all. She once again stood and approached her partner. She slid the gun from his hand and replaced it with her own. Only when she squeezed did he tear his eyes from the body. "It's okay, Castle; you saved me."

Before any more could be said, Esposito skidded breathless into the apartment, his gun raised. "Beckett! Beckett! Are you—oh," he lowered his tone when he saw the duo in the kitchen.

"Suspect's dead, Espo. Can you call it in?" Kate requested.

Esposito holstered his piece. "He's dead?" he asked, walking carefully around them to see for himself.

"I-I-" the writer stammered, unable to finish. Esposito's wide-eyed expression tore the words from his throat. "I didn't mean to, I-"

"Castle," Kate said gently, putting her hand on his shoulder. "It's okay; you don't have to worry. I saw the whole thing. He was trying to kill me and you stopped him."

Esposito, too, clapped the back of Castle's shoulders. "Good shot, man; good shot."

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Kate forced Castle to go home by way of asking a uniform to drive him there. She knew he wanted to stay out of loyalty to her, to their team, but he wasn't needed anymore—not after his statement was taken. Montgomery was, understandably, shocked to hear the outcome of their afternoon, but after hearing her story he agreed with Kate; no charges would be brought upon Castle as his actions were justified given the situation.<p>

Due to the fact that her apartment was a crime scene, Castle made Kate look him in the eye and agree to stay at the loft that night before he left her side. He was afraid without him there to force her hand she would insist she was fine and end up spending the night on the lumpy couch in the break room at the Twelfth. Kate promised that once everything was wrapped up at her apartment and she was no longer needed on scene she would join him at his residence.

Twice she nearly backed out, rationalizing to herself that it would be best if she stayed someplace else, but deep down she knew that was her stubbornness and fear talking. She wanted—no, needed—to talk to Castle, her partner, to make sure that he was doing alright and that, she felt, was not a conversation to be had over the phone. Besides, she had stayed at the loft before and it was fine.

It was nearly eight p.m. by the time she arrived at his place. Alexis was the one who let her inside before pulling her immediately into a crushing hug. Momentarily stunned, Kate dropped the duffle bag she held and then awkwardly reciprocated the younger girl's embrace.

"Thank you," Alexis mumbled into her shoulder. "For saving my dad last night."

Kate felt a cold sweat break out on the back of her neck. Castle had told his daughter about the kidnapper? How much had he told her? In how much detail? "I, uh, I was doing my job," she responded as neutrally as she could.

Alexis pulled back and stared at Kate for several moments almost as though there were words on her lips she wasn't sure should come out. "Can I," she began finally, "ask something I have no right to ask?"

Kate's brow wrinkled and she nodded, curious as to what Castle's daughter was thinking.

"You're not going to break his heart, are you? I mean, please don't."

Kate resisted the urge to shut her eyes or turn away from the girl as her comments had awoken the very feelings inside her Kate was trying to avoid. Then again, once she crossed the threshold of the Castle domain, was there any way to avoid them? "Alexis," she began, swallowing hard. "Look, things between your dad and I, they're…they're complicated and." She paused her speech, unsure of how to properly finish that sentence. As the younger girls' eyes continued to search hers Kate finally concluded, "I have no intentions of breaking his heard. Truly."

Alexis nodded, satisfied with his response. "He's in his office."

Kate scooped up her duffle and walked the familiar path to Castle's desk hidden behind the wall of books. She found him seated in his writing chair, his chin resting on his left fist, staring blankly at his laptop screen. She cleared her throat when she entered the room, rousing his attention. He looked up at her. "Does it ever get easy?" he asked. "Taking someone's life."

Kate shook her head and set down her bag. "No, but I don't think it should either." She let a beat go by before continuing. "Castle, what you did was okay."

"Was it?" he responded bitterly.

"Castle, you saved-"

"No, I know; I know." He cut her off and stood, walking around to her side of the desk. "I know it was you or him and given that choice there's no question. Still…"

Kate nodded. She still remembered her first on the job kill nearly a decade later. She was a rookie trapped in a bad situation. A robbery suspect was attempting to escape, crashed his vehicle and then opened fire on the cops. She had been trained to drop the shooter, so she did, but there wasn't a day that she put on her badge and gun that she didn't remember that man and the others whose lives she'd taken in similar circumstances.

Still, she needed to reassure her partner that what he did was without any doubt the right thing. "You saved me; guess we're even now, huh?"

He almost laughed at that insane notion. Gazing at her, unrelenting, he spoke. "Not even close. Kate we need to talk."

"I know." Her voice was quite, almost invisible, so unlike all the feelings swelling in her chest.

Castle took a deep breath, preparing himself to ask the next question—the one that had been nagging at him every second of the prior twenty-four hours. "Why did you choose me? I mean, did you? Did you intend to choose me? Or did you just say my name because-"

"No, I," she took a step towards him, a gentle smile playing on her lips. "I chose you."

Though it was crowded over by a barrage of raw emotions, Kate remembered that moment well. Yes, Josh had been there, and she certainly never wanted him to die in any scenario but in that moment the choice was so obvious it wasn't even a choice.

"I survived my mom's death, Castle. I nearly lost my dad, and I survived that too, but you." She looked up at him, the first hints of tears glistening in her eyes. "Castle, you are… you are so-"

"Hey, it's okay." He heard the crack in the edge of her voice and stepped forward, skimming his fingertips over her upper arms. "I'm right here." _Say it, Kate. Please god, say it_, his brain begged her. Say the words—say the words he knew were in there. The ones he felt. He couldn't be the one to break that barrier; she was too skittish for that. It had to be her; it had to be her.

Kate could feel it—the vice around her chest, crushing her lungs, her heart. The same feeling she had in the warehouse watching the noose tighten around his neck. Despair. Hopelessness. Terror. Suddenly she couldn't stop them—not even if she wanted. The tears. The words.

Looking into his eyes she flashed back to three weeks earlier in that LA hotel room. That night she knew. She knew she loved him. Those feelings were still too terrorizing for her, too incomprehensible. She wasn't prepared, she wasn't ready, not then but that didn't make them any less true, any less real.

The raw ache in her heart made her want to cling to him and never let go. The yearn for his arms around her making her feel safer than she ever had before coupled with the nagging fear in her gut chanting horrifying what ifs (What if he doesn't love you too? What if it doesn't work out? What if he breaks your heart?). The feeling was so complex, confusing, and all too overwhelming for her emotionally drained state so she simply surrendered. To his arms. His embrace. His comfort. To the words coiled at the back of her tongue waiting to leap out if given the opportunity.

"I can't lose you, Castle; I can't. I need you to stay here with me. You can't go anywhere. Please don't…please, please don't..."

"I'm here Kate; I'm here." He sighed, pulling her in. Her words, her trembling fingers against his back terrified him. This Kate Beckett was so unlike the one he'd come to know, admire, and love over the years. Not that he minded. He loved any and all versions of her, but this merely served as further proof that her typical bomb-proof exterior had been rocked to its core from the events over the prior forty-eight hours.

So much could be said. So much needed said. His mind spun with possibilities. She chose him. She _chose_ him. Was it possible? God, could it be that finally—no. He wouldn't allow himself to think about that yet. There would be time for that later. Right now, he simply needed to comfort her.

Castle brushed his lips across the top of her head and then against the spot where her hair met her face just above her temple. Kate responded by squeezing her fingers tighter against his spine and letting out a sort of noise somewhere between a sigh and a moan.

He continued to kiss his way down her cheekbone, tasting the salty remnants of a few escaped tears. As he neared her lips, her head turned towards his so that their noses bumped and their lips skimmed together in a feather-light touch.

Castle's gut clenched as he was transported many months earlier to a dark alleyway when he and Kate shared their very first kiss. Yes, it was under the guise of a distraction to save Ryan and Esposito, but it was real and ever since he'd longed to feel her lips against his again. Her hot mouth pressing against his own. No pretenses existed here; they were alone so if they kissed it would be unmistakably real.

Gently testing the waters, he pressed his lips firmly against hers and held them there for the beat of a heart. She didn't pull back; she didn't run away. If anything, she held him a bit closer so he kissed her again. And again. And again until he could hold himself back no longer.

Castle grasped the base of her neck and held her flush against him, his mouth over hers, his tongue skimming her bottom lip. Much to his shock and delight, she let him in, but only for a moment.

"Castle, wait." She took a step back from him, putting some distance between them.

Seeing the flush on her cheeks, he suddenly felt foolish and cursed himself for losing control. "I'm sorry, I-"

"No, it's okay," she shook her head gently. "Don't be sorry; I'm not."

She flashed him a reassuring smile before walking over to the box of tissues he kept on the edge of his desk. She mopped up her cheeks and beneath her nose before returning to his side and gazing at him tentatively. She took a deep breath and let the words flow out as best she could while keeping her fear at bay. "Castle, I…I need time. I just broke up with Josh. I don't think…I don't think I'm ready for—for something like….I need time."

Castle's chest swelled with relief and joy, but mostly love for the gorgeous creature who stood before him. She had said far more than he expected from Kate Beckett and, for now, that would be enough. "Of course, Kate. All the time you need. Can I…Can I get you something to eat?"

She laughed gently at the notion. "I think I'm too tired to chew."

"Then maybe…maybe we should just go to bed?" he suggested. "I-I can make up the guest room or…" Castle let his voice drift off as he finished the sentence in his mind, _"…or you can come to bed with me_." Of course he did not mean that in any way other than innocent. Wait—was cuddling innocent? Yes, yes it absolutely was. He understood the fact that she needed time and he respected that. He would almost go as far to say as he welcomed it since he did not want their relationship to be misconstrued as a rebound in any form. Yet, after the events of the prior twenty-four hours, all he wanted to do was hold her close as a silent promise that everything would be okay.

Kate looked at him, unable to say the words. She couldn't ask for it, but god did she want it. She wanted to curl up against him like she should have in that hotel two dozen nights ago. She needed him to say it for her.

Her steady gaze increased his bravery and he finished awkwardly, "Or okay…you could…" He took a step towards his bedroom and she picked up her duffle bag from her feet and followed him. Once over the threshold, he gestured towards his left. "Bathroom's through there. You can go ahead." She gave him a gentle nod, but said nothing before disappearing.

With the bathroom door closed behind her, Castle turned towards his bed. Okay. This was happening. This was really happening. He quickly tossed away some extra throw pillows and peeled back the comforter halfway before second guessing himself. What if she got cold? She might want the comforter. He was always hot when he slept, but he feared Kate's lithe frame might chill in the night.

While he could still hear the water running in the bathroom, Castle quickly changed into his typical sleeping attire: shorts and an undershirt. He took off his watch and placed it on the bedside table. A moment later, when he heard the bathroom door open, he looked up to see Kate emerging wearing a large t-shirt that drooped off one shoulder and leggings. She gave him a quiet smile. "'s all yours," she muttered, gesturing towards the bathroom.

Not wanting to leave Kate waiting for him (in his bed!) for too long, he used the bathroom efficiently. After brushing his teeth, Castle took a moment—just one moment—to collect himself before returning to the bedroom. He took a deep breath and pulled open the bathroom door to find Kate standing awkwardly by the side of the bed. She had rolled her hair up into a knot at the crown of her head, but otherwise looked unchanged from a few minutes earlier.

"I wasn't sure what side…"

"Oh," Castle said, approaching as though one might creep upon a wild creature for fear of startling it and causing it to flee. "I usually stay on the side towards the door so…"

Kate nodded and approached the side closest to the bathroom before peeling back the sheet. She placed one knee on the mattress and then looked up at him, gauging his reaction. "You know," he began, "I can still sleep on the cou-"

"Castle," she cut off the crazy notion before it had even escaped his lips. Shaking her head, she crawled inside the bed and allowed her body to melt into Castle's luxuriously comfortable mattress. She adjusted the pillow beneath her head and lay on her side facing away from him.

Castle slid into the bed as gingerly as he could, skimming his legs under the sheets but keeping his body propped up by one elbow as he gazed down at her, considering their situation. Part of him knew that he should just lie on his back and let her be, simply happy that she was there in his bed. But he couldn't do that. Not when she was so alluringly close.

After switching off the light, Castle cautiously stretched out on his right side, keeping his right arm in line with his body. Tentatively, he reached out his left hand to place atop her arm. She did not stir or move away so he stroked her arm gingerly with his thumb.

After a minute, she pulled her arm away and he was afraid he'd crossed a boundary she wasn't ready for. Just as he was about to pull his hand back she grasped it and pulled it down towards her belly button. As it turned out, she had only moved her arm so that his hand could slide below it.

Smiling inwardly, Castle scooted himself closer to her so that their torsos were separated by only inches. He shut his eyes and allowed his body to soak in her presence until a nagging thought began to pester him. He tried to relax, he tried to push it from his mind, but it wouldn't go; it wanted to come out.

Suddenly, Castle rolled away from her and flicked on the light once more. Propping himself up on his elbow he began, "Kate."

"Shh Castle," was her response.

"But, I just—I just need to confirm what you're saying—what you implied earlier is that at one point in the future you and I will be sharing this bed but we'll be doing more than just sleeping. Right?"

Kate rotated her head enough to glare at him with one eye. "Not unless you stop talking. Right now."

He agreed with a tiny nod, though internally he was doing backflips, all his dreams coming to fruition. He quickly shut off the light and returned his hand to its prior position. He took a deep, cleansing breath in and willed his body to relax into sleep. Kate was in his arms. She had, more or less, confirmed that at some point in the future they would be a romantic couple; nothing was wrong in the world.

"Thank you," he exhaled as he shut his eyes, "for saving my life."

Kate gripped onto his hand at her waist and pulled it tighter. She pushed her body back until her back connected with his chest. He felt so warm, so safe. God, how had she denied herself this for so long? Being in Castle's arms felt more right than anything else ever had.

"Thank you," she told him in a near whisper, "for saving mine."

Castle laced his fingers through Kate's and they both fell into slumber knowing her gratitude spoke for much more than the events of that evening.

* * *

><p><em>AN: There is one part left_.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: The final part!_

* * *

><p><strong>Five<strong>

Shortly after three that morning Kate awoke suddenly. She had been dreaming that she was back in the warehouse with Josh and Castle, only that time she was the one hanging from a noose. When the rope was cut, she plummeted towards the ground and awoke just as she was about to hit concrete.

She opened her eyes and rolled onto her back. In doing so, she caught a glimpse of a set of ferocious looking eyes from across the room and startled again. What the hell was in her bedroom? Oh, that's right; this was not her bedroom.

Rolling her head to the left she found her partner sound asleep, his left arm folded neatly over his chest. Castle. She was in bed with Castle. He was there, with her. Safe and not strung up by a crazy kidnapper. That man was dead and could not hurt either one of them again.

Kate watched her bed companion for several moments, examining the gentle rise and fall of his chest. She knew she should have stayed where she was, closed her eyes and fallen back to sleep, but she simply could not resist the temptation. Besides, she didn't think he'd mind.

Carefully so as not to wake him, Kate slid her body closer to Castle's and rested her head on the corner of his broad shoulder. She draped her right arm over his stomach and surrendered completely to the way her body neatly curled around his. She closed her eyes and found herself quickly lulled back to sleep by his even breathing.

A few hours later, Castle awoke to find a hand resting gently just above his belly button. He glanced down and saw Kate's face smashed against his shoulder. The sight caused an immediate smile to cross his face. He watched her sleep for several moments before an unexpected sadness crept into his gut. Yes, she was there with him, but this, as far as he understood it, was a one-time-only event. At least, for the time being. The possibility for the future was there, but he suspected that future was more than just a week or two away.

Castle lay contentedly with Kate's arm across his body for the better part of ten minutes before she began to stir. She groaned and grumbled and fought waking as though she was a toddler forced from a nap. He chuckled at how adorable it was and dropped a kiss onto the top of her head as a reminder she was not alone. This action elicited a slightly louder groan from her as she stretched out her legs.

"Whatimsit?" she asked, making it sound as though the phrase was one word and not four.

Castle scooped up his watch and glanced at it. "Six thirty," he told her gently. She moaned and rolled onto her back. "We did go to bed rather early last night, Kate."

"I know," she sighed, finally opening her eyes. Rolling her head towards him she said, "Hi."

"Hi," he echoed, his smile growing a bit bigger. "You sleep well?"

She nodded. "Did you?"

He nodded back. Unable to stop himself, he reached out a hand to brush a few strands of hair from her eyes. Letting his thumb graze across her cheekbone he asked, "What do you want to do today, Kate?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well," he continued, "I figure after everything that's been going on, we should do something fun. It is, after all, a Saturday, so what do you want to do? We could go to the zoo. Or walk through the park. Or go shopping."

"Oh, Castle, that's sweet, but you don't have to…to feel obligated to entertain me today."

"Obligated? I want to," he assured her. "C'mon; let's get breakfast and figure it out."

"Well, actually," She said, pushing herself into a sitting position. "Would you mind if I took a shower first?"

He smiled at her. Kate Beckett in his shower? He'd been waiting three years for that! "Not a problem. Let me get you some fresh towels. I'll get started on breakfast. Pancakes ok?"

"Castle, you don't have to go to any trouble. I can just have cereal or scramble an egg."

"Kate, please," he looked at her patronizingly. "You should know by now—trouble is my middle name."

Half an hour later, Castle was completing the buffet he'd created with fresh fruit, bacon, and pancakes. And of course coffee—lots of coffee. Kate emerged from his bedroom with still-damp hair, but she was otherwise ready for the day. She wore jeans and a gray three-quarter-length sleeve top. It appeared she'd also put on a touch of makeup: mascara and two simple swipes of eyeliner. To Castle, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Castle, oh my god, I said don't go to any trouble!" she laughed gently at the spread he'd laid out.

"Nah, I was just really hungry. Dig in!" he told her with a smile.

No more than a few minutes into their eating, Castle's daughter stumbled her way down the stairs, bleary-eyed. "Why are you guys up so early? It's Saturday," she said with a slight whine.

"Sorry sweetie," Castle told her, "But you didn't have to get up too."

"But there's coffee," she responded, as though that would fully explain her presence.

"Like father like daughter, huh?" Kate asked with a gentle smile.

Castle shrugged helplessly. "So did you give any thought to what you want to do? And, just keep in mind, shopping with me comes with my AMEX Black Card."

Kate set her fork down and gazed at him, slightly annoyed at the suggestion. "Castle, I will not let you buy me things."

"Why?" Alexis chimed in. "That's what he's good for."

"Hey," Castle retorted with fake irritation.

Alexis smiled at her father and stabbed a few pancakes off the serving plate with her fork. "That reminds me—can we go to Costco today or tomorrow? I need a few things."

"Sure sweetie. Maybe Kate would want to come with us," he turned to her, smiling.

Kate's brow wrinkled. "Why? I don't need five hundred rolls of paper towels or toilet paper."

Castle gasped and placed his hand over his chest. "That is _not_ why you go to Costco." At her continued confusion. "Kate, have you ever been to Costco?"

"No. Why would I go to Costco?"

"Because it's awesome!" Castle said with great enthusiasm.

Perplexed, Kate looked to Alexis for assistance, but found none. "It is really fun," the younger girl told her. "They have way more than toilet paper and paper towels; you should come."

"Yeah, c'mon Kate! Come with us!" Castle said, practically bounding up and down with glee. "Lose your Costco virginity!"

The detective gave him an irritated glare. "Only if you never say 'Costco virginity' again."

He laughed. "Deal."

* * *

><p>"Oh my god, look at this place!" Kate proclaimed when they pulled into the parking lot of the Brooklyn Costco a few minutes after eleven that morning. She sat in the front of Castle's Mercedes as he crawled through the parking lot, trying to find a space that still had a New York zip code.<p>

"Maybe we should have come earlier," Alexis said from the back seat.

"You're the one who wanted to wait for the samples," he pointed out, glancing at her in his rear view mirror. The younger girl shrugged.

When they finally found a spot, the trio headed towards the entrance where Castle flashed his membership card and a smiling woman waved them into the store. "Welcome," Castle said to Kate, holding out his hands wide. "To the greatest store in the world."

Kate rolled her eyes dramatically. "I fail to see how this is the greatest store in the world."

"Ah, but it is! Where else can you get a four carat diamond ring, car tires, and a five pound jar of mayonnaise all under one roof?"

"You can get diamonds here?!" Kate asked with confusion.

Castle let out a haughty chuckle. "Alexis, my dear, show Detective Beckett to the jewelry." Alexis grinned and waved Kate a few aisles over where the jewelry could be found.

The writer browsed through a few of the large screen televisions near the entrance before making his way over to the girls, who were examining the jewelry with shining eyes. Castle walked up behind them and asked, "See anything you like?"

Kate jumped slightly at his sudden words. Then, turning to him, she said, "Some of this stuff is rather impressive."

"Such as?" he asked in a leading manner.

"Kate liked this necklace, Dad," Alexis said, pointing down to a white gold necklace with a simple pendant for the Costco retail price of just under twenty-five hundred dollars.

After glancing down at the piece, Castle smiled at her. "Well I'll keep that in mind for your birthday—or Christmas."

"Yeah right," she said with an eye roll.

As they continued to make their way through the store, Alexis became distracted by the variety of computers offered while Kate and Castle made their way towards the clothing section. "You buy your jeans hear Castle?" Kate asked with a bemused expression.

"I'll have you know the Kirkland brand is known for quality," Castle informed her, "But no, I don't wear Costco jeans."

"Even though this is the best store ever," she said, clearly mocking him. He gave her an unappreciative look before moving to the next table that contained children's clothes. "I don't think those are your size," Kate said wisely.

"But look!" He whined, holding up a pink pleated skirt and matching top clearly meant for an infant less than one year old. "I totally would have gotten this for Alexis."

"Sorry, Castle," Kate told him, "but you're about sixteen years too late."

He nodded his head and placed the outfit back on the table. "Do you want kids Kate?"

Her head snapped towards him at the unexpected question. "I, uh, I dunno. I guess…I guess I never really thought about having kids, but, at the same time, I can't imagine not having them. Does that make any sense?"

"It makes a lot of sense. You could have also just gone with the simpler, 'Yeah, probably; someday.'"

She elbowed him as they continued to walk. "What about you Castle?"

"I already have one. You may have met her?" he responded. She turned to him with her classic, 'You know what I meant' expression. "Ohh, you mean do I want _more_ kids? Why didn't you say so?!"

"Castle."

He was silent for a moment and then stopped walking beside a display of single-cup coffee makers. "You know, it's funny. I grew up with a small family. Obviously I had no siblings and I didn't get to interact too much with Mother's side of the family. Then I had Alexis and her growing up as an only child like I did seemed to fit except… I don't know," he shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. "It just feels like something is missing. So to give a long answer to a simple question: yeah, I think I do want more kids."

Kate smiled at him. "Well I'm sure your third wife will be glad to hear that."

"Ha-ha," he responded with slight annoyance.

Alexis caught up to them a few minutes later and they finally made their way into the food section, where lines were already forming at each of the sample stations. Castle and Alexis took their place in line with others seeking a taste of fresh baked rolls lathered with creamy butter. "Seriously?" Kate asked when they got to the front of the line. "A roll and butter? People wait in line for this."

"Uh, yeah," Castle mumbled, his mouth stuffed with roll. "That's the whole point of this place."

"And the lines get cutthroat," Alexis added seriously. "Meat samples are the worst—you'd better be prepared to elbow a few people for that."

"So true," Castle said as they moved onto the next sample station. He wasted no time in popping the apple filled pastry encrusted with just the right amount of cinnamon and sugar crystals into his mouth. As sounds of delight escaped his lips, Kate picked up a sample as well. This, it appeared, was all it took to win her over.

"This is really good and," she paused to gaze wide-eyed at the sign next to the display, "really cheap! How is this so cheap?"

"Hello!" Castle proclaimed. "_Costco!_"

They continued to make their way through the store, sampling six more food items as they went. Kate marveled that the chaos that occurred when a new batch of fresh, rotisserie chickens were laid out. One would have thought they were free from the frenzy of hands snatching them up.

By the time they looped their way back to the front of the store, Alexis's arms were weighed down with her two chosen items, Castle carried a flat of Alexis's favorite brand of iced tea, and Kate held a tub of snack mix—which was Castle's. He'd continually insisted that she could buy anything she wanted, but she refused, continually stating she did not need a year's supply of anything in one go.

"Should we just get lunch here, Dad?" Alexis asked as they waited in the painfully slow-moving line.

"Sure, sweetie, what do you want?" Castle asked. After placing her order for the turkey and provolone sandwich, he turned to Kate and asked, "Lunch? My treat."

"Oh, uh," Kate glanced up at the large menu above the snack bar in front of them, "yeah the turkey sounds good."

"You sure?"

She nodded. "Thanks Castle."

"No problem," he replied with a smile. At the register, he ordered two turkey sandwiches and a beef barbeque sandwich for himself.

After retrieving their food, Castle, Kate and Alexis took seats at the picnic tables provided for customers to dine. Alexis busied herself with her phone while Kate and Castle sat across from each other eating silently until Castle questioned, "So? How is it?"

"Surprisingly very good," she confessed. After a moment, she added, "And I have to admit this store is kind of fun."

"Yes," Castle cheered, punching the air with his left fist. "Once you go Costco, you never go back."

Kate laughed, "I'll try and resist."

Forty minutes later they had returned to Castle's loft. Kate assisted the father-daughter duo in bringing their purchases up from the garage. Once inside, she excused herself to the bedroom to pack up her duffle bag, stating that it was time to return to her apartment and clean up the mess the CSU had left her with after the prior night's incident.

When Kate returned to the foyer, she found Castle waiting for her looking somewhat anxious. She gave him a gentle smile as she approached. "Thanks for today, Castle. I didn't realize how much I needed it."

"You're welcome," he said, rocking forward on his toes slightly. More than anything, he wanted to reach out and touch her, taste her, but he knew that he could not. She needed time, she had asked for time, and he would respect that. Still, he could not help his desires from escaping his lips. "I…I want to kiss you, but I won't."

She smiled a bit wider, taking a step towards him. "I want to kiss you too, but it's not fair—not to either of us. Not until I'm ready."

He nodded, unhappy with this, but agreeing to it nonetheless. She stepped forward, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed a gentle kiss onto his cheek. Castle's heart seized in his chest when her lips touched his flesh. God, why could he never control himself around her? "Actually," he said, grasping onto her arm as she tried to pull away. She gazed up at him curiously. "Fairness is overrated."

With that, he pulled her in and crushed his mouth against hers. For a moment, she didn't react and he feared she would push him away, but when she finally responded she did the opposite. She parted her lips and pulled him in with as much passion as he was feeding her. His hand grabbed a fistful of her hair and her fingertips clawed at his powerful shoulders—but only for a moment.

When Kate stepped back from his embrace she said his name warningly.

"I know; I'm sorry." He sighed. Then, when he caught her sparking eye, he realized that she wasn't and so he let out a breathy laugh.

"I'll see you Monday? At the twelfth?" she asked, as she took a step towards the door.

He bobbed his head. "Wouldn't miss it."

* * *

><p><em>AN: So i was at work sitting at my desk and this thought popped into my head: Castle + Costco = Awesome. Because Castle has to love Costco. You can't **not** love Costco. That's where this chapter came from. I hope you enjoyed it!_

_Thank you all so much for reading. Unfortunately this story is over, but at least we have the Castle premier to look forward to in 11 days!_


End file.
